If you fell for me ..

If you fell for me,

I'd catch you ever so gently,

Wrap my arms around you,

and darling,

I'd never ever let you go.

These words they sing to you.

Your jigsaw puzzle.

Life. It is a funny thing, isn’t it? I equate my life to a jigsaw puzzle. There are the pieces on the side, the ones most of us start with when we begin piecing a puzzle together. I liken these pieces to my family, for they are the backbone of my puzzle, pieces without which, I would be rather lost, pieces without which would make putting the puzzle together that much harder. It is true, what they say about family; you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them. My closest friends I regard as my family, as well.

I had an idea of what my finished puzzle would look like but as time passed, I quickly learned that nothing in life is permanent. We fool ourselves into thinking that there is some sort of permanence. Maybe we do it to make ourselves feel better about things. Maybe it is because as humans, we forget but there is a limit to living in our fantasy. The longer we keep our heads in the clouds, the harder reality hits, making it hurt more when we fall.

No one in this world can fully prepare us for the speed and manner in which the pieces of our puzzle change. Some pieces may get lost and it could take a long time before you find another to replace it, if you ever do. Time and again, you will encounter moments when you think you have placed the right piece in just the right place only to come back a couple of days, weeks, months or years later to find that that same piece does not fit in anymore.

I will be upfront and admit that it is a daily struggle to grasp why particular pieces of my puzzle change. Every time I think I have managed to comprehend it, I am somehow proven wrong. Admittedly, it can be fun, sometimes but it can also be downright heart-breaking. However, if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that one should always take both, the good and the bad, in stride. Learn from your mistakes and embrace every smile, tear, heartbreak and laughter.

No matter what happens, one of the most important things we must remember is that it is we who determine how our puzzle will turn out in the end. We are the ones who choose the colours and we will be the ones who paint the pictures. How sad or happy our lives turn out to be is in our own hands.

I know many people who live a life of ‘what ifs’. As much as we would like to plan the course of our lives, once in a while, we should stir things up a little by taking calculated risks or by throwing caution to the wind. Of course when I say this, I don’t mean act irrationally. What I mean is, keep an open mind, take chances and pursue your dreams. Don’t be afraid to be different. More importantly, don’t be afraid to be yourself.

There is a very famous saying that goes, ‘If life gives you lemons, make vodka lemonade, drink and be merry.’ To the non-drinkers and also my Muslim friends, a more apt one would be to simply make lemonade. Don’t complain or dwell on the past or on things you cannot change. Instead, choose bright colours and paint your puzzle. It is your canvas, how the final product turns out is in your hands. May it be your best work, for you only have one. J

His story.

Crawling out of that little hole he had dug for himself was tough. He sought comfort and in that hole, he found it.

It was him against the world. The questions he had, many went unanswered. The ones he has answers to, they were unsatisfactory, incomplete and at times, rubbish.

Self-doubt crept up from behind him, took him by surprise and swept him off his feet. He was blinded.

"It was an ambush", he said.

He eventually came out of that hole of his. And darkness, albeit slowly, started giving way to light. He dusted himself and looked around, his eyes soaking in every colour, breathing in deep, basking in the sun.

"I was lucky. That, I certainly was. I had an abundance of love from my friends and my family." The tone of his voice betrayed his pride.

I watched him in silence, careful not to break his chain of thoughts.

"I stood still as their love rained over me. I felt the seedlings of doubt cringe away as a crazy little thing called Hope started to win me over."

"Happy ever after? That only exists in fairytales." It was almost as though he read my thoughts at that very moment. The sound of his voice broke the deafening silence.

"He is a man of few words but when he does speak, he sends a message", I muttered under my breath.

"The seedlings of doubt, they may have cringed away but disappear, they did not."

He shuffled around, trying to find a comfortable position to slouch against the tree, eventually finding a spot he was happy with.

We sat in silence, as the sound of the leaves bristling in the wind served as the only music to our ears.

He is one step away from crawling back into his comfort hole. If he tripped, he will tumble deeper into the dark abyss. Deeper than before. One look into his big, brown eyes and I could tell.

His eyes, they told a different story to the one he is trying to narrate to the world. His eyes, that lopsided smile and the tiny dimple on his left cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned against the tree trunk. I felt peace.